You never know how much you miss a place until you leave it.
Yes. I absolutely and unapologetically believe this to be one hundred and ten percent true. It’s just starting to hit me that I will be leaving my city, the city, the city where everything fits together in perfect jigsaw fashion, in less than 24 short hours.
I have always known that you never really miss a place until your as far away as it as possible, but seeing as my whole life I’ve uplifted my roots every few years, something else resonances within me when I reread this quote. I am so lucky to have a multitude of places I can call “home”. There’s San Diego – the place where I return “home”, New York City – the “home” where I lost my heart and never looked back,and the other many places where I’ve planted my roots. It seems to me that each time I leave again, the easier it gets and the “missing” seems less. Maybe it’s just so entrenched in who I am as a person that leaving seems almost normal and missing it would seem counterintuitive because I know I’ll be back.
I’ll be leaving in more than just a physical sense tomorrow. I’ll be leaving my friends, memories, and part of my heart. I am so in love with the city, that It hurts to even think about boarding that plane tomorrow. The past five months in New York have given me a “family” of whom I can’t even imagine not living with now, a ridiculous amount of experiences (mostly resulting in late night pizza and hilarious group texts the next morning), and a sense of adventure. I was stuck in a rut at the end of last year – simply going through the motions – but now I am invigorated and cannot wait to wake up each day, for there is a new adventure to be had.
There really isn’t any other way to describe how I feel about leaving so I wrote a letter to New York:
New York, I will miss you more than you ever know.
I will miss your white pizza at 3AM in Saint Marks,
the random conversations on the subway with tourists from Louisiana,
and the fresh smell of rain hitting the pavement after weeks without rain.
New York, I will miss you more than I can express in words.
I will miss being able to explore a plethora of villages and neighborhoods without even leaving the island.
I will miss the crazy taxis and their swerving driving styles,
the tiny shoebox apartments my friends reside in,
and the never ending sirens that make up the sounds of the night.
New York, Tomorrow I say adieu to more than just friends, great chinese food, and getting lost among millions.
I say goodbye to the greatest city on Earth that has taught me more about myself than any person or school teacher could.
New York, I must remind myself that tomorrow is not “goodbye”, rather “see you later”.
New York you have been wonderful.
Thank you for everything you have taught me. I know that San Diego and Spain will be wonderful but there is truly nothing like living in the big apple.
Until next time 🙂
