Tag Archives: Home

Home. House. Where do I fit in?

A plethora of emotions swirl through my bloodstream and a series of thoughts swarm the forefront of my brain when I think of home.  A straightforward yet very convoluted concept leaves me dazed and confused as I sit in yet another airport terminal. “Where is home? San Diego or New York?” inquires a chatty middle age woman.  An almost quixotic vision of my home envelops my mind: the palm trees swaying in the breeze, our two border collies running out the front door, a sunny San Diego day with no sign of clouds for miles – perfect weather for a day at the beach. However, as soon as the pieces come together in a romantic landscape, they fall apart and are replaced by the harsh grey of steel skyscrapers, dark skies, throngs of strangers in crowded intersections, whaling sounds of sirens and the smell of sewage.  Two very different images play out in my mind, yet images of my two homes nonetheless.

“I’m going back to school right now” is all I can mutter as the early morning fog clears from my head. I want to scream, “I don’t know!”

I have sprinkled the seeds of my heart over four continents and have yet to claim a single place as my stomping grounds.  It’s the typical military child’s dilemma. Is the place where I spent the most time a home, or is it where I feel most at “home”? Is “home” wherever we are or is it where our family is? Is it where I went to high school or where I have the most friends? A number of questions need addressing and I don’t even know where to begin; Australia? England? Spain? San Diego? New York? Japan?  I’m starting to think I’m entering into my quarter life crisis.

As I set the anxiety aside, a trait I’ve perfected over the years, through the fifteen houses I’ve called home, I begin to realize the source of the problem, an identity crisis maybe? No. A severe case of “growing up”? Perhaps. The fact of the matter is that the past nine days in San Diego was brief, however it made me realize how lucky I am to have this “home” to visit as begin the next chapter of my life, which includes LSATs, job hunts, more apartment searching, and a thorough examination of both heart and soul. As I propel forward into the next stage with my peers, I have to acknowledge that with this exciting and nerve-racking transformation into a “real person” complete with a “real” job and responsibilities, is that there are other changes to adapt to as well which include less frequent and shorter visits to our family’s house and transitioning into making my new “home”.

I’m well prepared. I can tell just by looking at my two parents who have graced numerous residences with their presence. They have equipped me with the tools to succeed both professionally and socially as I transition this last year of college into an adult. It’s a looming and distressing process but I welcome the challenge, just as I’ve welcomed every new home into my heart.

Going home makes for difficult, long-winded, pathetic goodbyes when it’s time to return to your other “home”. It doesn’t take rocket science to understand that goodbyes are nearly as challenging as the first “hello”, but the promises of another visit comfort the five-year-old inner self. I however, have no return ticket, no promise of another visit to my teenage decorated room, the sandy beaches, and the glorious Mexican food. It’s an inevitable feeling not knowing what’s coming, but it brings forth the more important question, “Who do you dare become as you leave your house and create your new “home”?”

Why I Love Manhattan

Whenever people ask where I’m from, I always have to pause, take a deep breath, and then explain that home is where I’m at, not where I’m from, nor where I went to high school, or even where I was born. Growing up in the military, our go-to saying was “Home Is Where the Navy Sends You” – simply said and eloquently put, it’s true. And even though I’m currently from San Diego, I take pride in going to school in New York City. I’m in love with everything about it:  the crazy people, the $1 pizza on the way home from a late water polo practice and the wackiness that is bound to be around each and every corner.207095282834939750_qMa2EuOd_f

It’s not everyday that I’m reminded of why I love New York City, but while using Pinterest (my new found obsession) I somehow stumbled upon this video time lapse of the Big Apple. It truly does capture the essence of the city – the hustle and bustle, the sleeplessness, and beauty all around despite the concrete everywhere.  I can only hope that my photography makes half of an impact on its viewers as Cameron Michael’s video did on me.

I still miss New York each and every day but am so excited to be back in the city – only 34 days and counting. In the meantime, here’s my five most favorite but most often overlooked things about New York (in no particular order).

  1. The Crazy People On The Street (Mostly 6th Ave) – There are over eight million people in New York City but my favorite are the ones that like to yell to my friends and I when we’re walking about. While their lack of cleanliness drives me bonkers, these people are some of the true comedians in the city. They will remind you that your skirt may be too short or that you’re a sexy sista or even that your jacket is hideous (even if it did cost a pretty penny). They are the icing to the cake that is NYC and I pray for their health and safety every day because it wouldn’t be the Big Apple without em.
  2. The Ability to Walk Everywhere (In Exceptionally Gorgeous Shoes) – Manhattan is only 13 miles long and 2.3 miles wide – bet you didn’t know that, did ya? And with a million little streets to explore, the best way to see all of them is to walk. Even though the double decker bus tours are great for getting a broad overview of the city and its many villages, the only way to get a true feel for the city is to step on the cracks of the sidewalk and waltz past some of the original stores and restaurants buried in the depths of the city in your favorite Louboutins.
  3. The Secrets – New York is one of the most famous, if not the most well known city in the world, but underneath the surface lie many secrets and stories that have yet to be uncovered. As a self proposed “Adventurist” I LOVE the fact that NYC is still rich in history that has yet to be exploited by millions of tourists.
  4. You Will Never Be the Worse Dressed (or Best Dressed) Person – As a yoga-pant-wearing-messy-bun-sporting girl I love being able to roll out of bed five minutes before class, throw on some sweats and walk confidently out of my room knowing that there WILL, without a doubt, be somebody dressed worse than I am (unless I decide to dress like the photo below). The downside to this is that there is always going to be somebody dressed better than you, even if you’re a Victoria’s Secret Angel.
  5. The Pride – Whether it’s pride for being gay or pride for your sports teams (Go Rangers!), New Yorkers are extremely passionate and go all out for something they love. Being the sports fanatic that I am, I am in love with the fact that there are so many sports teams in the New York Area and I personally believe that NY fans are the best – trust me on this one (and if you don’t believe me, go to a Rangers Hockey Game).

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Quote of the Day:  “The City is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo” – Desmond Morris